Wednesday, December 26, 2007

snakepimp is changing for the whatever

snakepimp dot c0m is changing, it has really become my personal web playground, where I write about whatever I feel like writing about.
I will be posting here on blogger from time to time, just to keep it fresh. Be warned that if you go to my site you might see boobs, which is OK, as long as you are of legal age to do so. I haven't written much about reptiles lately, it has really gone on the back-burner for me after a long string of bad luck with my animals.
I will continue to rant and rave, and you'll be able to read it all here, when I bother to update this site. Be advised, snakepimp dot com is changing for the whatever.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

I almost forgot that I have a blog. But that is fine.

Nothing to say today, particularly. Just remembered that I have a blog...
Today in the news, we have a fabulous herpetological vacation opportunity; a Hostel in Lucknow is infested with snakes. Get you reservation now, they won't be there long.
Anther foolish individual got bit feeding his cobra, big surprise.
I guess that's it for today, I will try to post more often in the future...

Friday, March 18, 2005

Mr. Cope, please excuse my journalistic and literary ineptitude.

It's truly unfortunate, Mr Cope, that you rely solely on the, "handful of other socially inept obsessives who are aware of your every thought." to survive in your chosen career path. If your career's very existence did not rely completely on them, then I suppose the opening statement of your article of March 9th 2005 entitled, "If I Had My Drathers: Unclogging the blog fog." would have carried some weight. Surely, you must agree, Mr. Cope, that readers of opinion pieces are simply searching for a way to, "piss away ...hours," and it is your duty to help them, by, "throwing more useless crap into the...(metaphor removed)...landfill." Landfill is used, in the preceding case, in the literal sense. You don't like my punctuation style, Bill? BYTE ME. "No offense,..."
How low must you stoop for journalistic sizzle without substance? "No, offense.." may be the most unquestionably juvenile way to make oblique the insult of judgmental diatribe. I am disappointed that you, a professional journalist, so gloriously lofted before us as the avatar of literacy, could dredge up such bilge. I am not, myself, unlikely or unknown to use such a technique, but I am not a "professional journalist." I am a 30 year old high school dropout with a blog. It seems to me ironic that a pleasantly left-leaning individual such as yourself should not see the hidden inconsistency in your request to, "please excuse my reliance on old-fashioned paper and ink," in two small ways. First; anything "old-fashioned" is clearly in the domain of the conservatives, and is never to be sullied by the lip service of a liberal. Second; the trees, Bill, think about the trees.
Keep in mind, Bill, that I am not the force intent on revoking your license to refer to the "old-fashioned," nor to appear in newsprint. No more so than it was bloggers who flayed Dan Rather. Rather, Dan's cacophonous flogging from blogging was mere accompaniment to the media blitzkrieg symphony, and the conductor before the orchestra was most assuredly not a vast internet blogger cabal. Dan's lashing was by backlash of political whips, not blogs. It was the rocks other side of the aisle they were throwing, they just used blogs as slings. The use of the blogs is/was/will-be reported by many "real news" sources as if these blogs hold some weight in the overall journalistic scheme, so perhaps they do. Blaming the blogs for Dan's resignation is very nearsighted, though they have proven a popular scapegoat. I believe Dan Rather was dead-on with the assertions he made that lead to "BlogGate", and his departure is an unfortunate travesty. However, the blog, like any powerful tool (such as a newspaper), can be used for good or evil, honestly, or dishonestly. It is not the blog that is dishonest; it is the person writing it. Blogs don't ruin careers, political machinations ruin careers. Do you get what I'm driving at here yet, Bill?
If, Mr. Cope, you were to peruse my blog, The Snakepimp Times (www.snakepimp.blogspot.com) you would find nary a, "lol" nor would you find "IMHO." In fact, I don't believe that you would even find "OBO," which, of course, is an ubiquitous mutation of language used in the newspaper. Yes, most of my articles are short, but that is what is required to hold the attention of an internet audience. The graphics on my blog are extremely simple, and could not carry the overall message of the blog itself. My language is crass and confrontational, much like yours at times, mine is perhaps a bit more radical because of the given the restrictions of your media. Blogging specifically, and the internet generally, is the last and most vastly available outlet for truly free media. Blogging allows us (humankind) a broader perspective on the possible truths of a given situation, like a quantum probability field. There is no better medium than the internet for worldwide peer review of any subject. The tiniest exercise in discernment can separate the truly illiterate vanity bloggers from a blogger with an ability to use language somewhat, and those who have something legitimate to convey. I am saddened that you think all blogs are to blame for the linguistic ills of our culture. Many of those now engaged in frantic blogging are hard-working students who will grow up to be the next Dan Rather, or Hunter S. Thompson or...okay, Matt Drudge.
I respect, in general, your writing, and have enjoyed the great majority of your articles because I am the misanthrope you describe in your "If I Had My Drathers," article's opening paragraph. I respect, and mostly agree, with your politics, but you are too conservative. I lean so far to the left that I am unpublishable, even by my own standards. Was your use of the non-word "opinionizing" an intentional ruse to catch unwary bloggers-who-happen-to-read-print-too, or was it an "Easter Egg" like computer-programmers hide to entertain their astute-enough-to-get-it audience? Perhaps it was an honest-to-goodness mistake not to use the word "opining?" I am leaning towards the Easter Egg theory, because you go on to use "whole nother" (of which I am guilty, in verbal use) and "teevee." Perhaps it is just an attention check. Well, some of us are paying attention, Bill, and we all have blogs. One misstep on your part, and I will release the internet blog-people-hyenas.
lol,
Jeremy Anderson

Friday, February 11, 2005

Not quite as bad as drowning your own baby

This is just sad. This is a story about a pathetic, lazy, sadistic whacko, I guess.
Maybe the Boa had IBD, and had to be put down. But, if that is the case, then the whole river just got contaminated! Just like in Cabin Fever
Every time I update my blog, I end up feeling sick. Thanks a lot, humanity.

I assume no responsibility for this

If you enjoy pictures of inebriated fools, then this is the site for you.

T.V. Perpetuates the fiction

I think I'm going to puke.
I haven't watched T.V. in so long, I had almost forgotten how repugnantly stupid it can be.

Nothing but an Advertisement

The VenomDoc Forums

Doctors Brian Grieg, and Alexia Fry: the worlds foremost venom researchers are hosting a fabulous set of forums. Go check it out, you might learn something. Oh, and they are really nice humans, in fact.

More idiots with Hots make it hard for me to keep Boas

Look, I know that there are people out there who keeps "hot" herps that aren't idiots, but the vast majority I have met in my life are one sandwich short of a picnic basket.
I know that responsible, sane, sober people can get bit by their cobra too, and I applaud those trained, well-equipped keepers of venomous snakes who are doing it for a reason, such as venom research, or running reptile-house at a zoo or something. The problem I have with irresponsible lay-people who keep hots is that they make all of the rest of look like crazed maniacs who are a menace to the public health. In fact, irresponsibility with gas Bar-B-Q's causes many more deaths and injuries than irresponsibility with venomous snakes does, but the number of humans interactiing with gas Bar-B-Q's is much larger than with Rhinocerous vipers.

For all of you "Hot" heads our there Here's a clue: Keep hots that your local hospital has antivenom for!
I bet that there is not generally a lot of call for Bitis antivenom in Ohio, so the hospital is not going to have it.
If your local hospital doens't have the antivenom you want, find out who does, and have the information at the ready for your health care provider, so that they don't spend hours wondering where they are going to get Dendroaspis antivenom. In fact, it might be a good idea to contact your hospital, tell them what you're doing, and provide them with information on how to save your ass, such as, "Do not perform a fasciotomy, you morons."
The snake in this story, a Rhinoceros Viper (Bitis nasicornis) is boldly proclaimed to be one of the world's deadliest, without a shred of evidence to support such a claim. By "one of" the world's deadliest, maybe they mean: "Top 50" species, I don't know.

One Lonely Geek

I hope this link doesn't expire, this is a story of a very lonely man, who had spent his life playing too much D&D and too many video games, and eating Cheetos.
This is perhaps, the alternate ending to the productive period of my own life, if I had chosen a different path.
He kidnapped a woman (his ex-girlfriend) at sword point? I have not the words for the loneliness tht would possess a man to do this. Maybe bladed weapons make her hot, but she wasn't in the mood, so she pressed charges, which makes her even hotter. He did not intend, it seems, to harm her, he just couldn't get a date by other means. (at least that's what I get out of it.)

(puff puff pass, fool.)
The woman was unharmed. Police found also a 6-foot Boa constrictor, and that is significant to this story in what way, exactly?

Monday, January 17, 2005

The Humane society updates

Okay, I admit it, the HSUS has finally published something good about the horror of rattlesnake roundups.
They still don't want us to keep reptiles as pets, to protect us, apparently, from salmonella.
Odd, then that they don't want to eliminate cats and dogs as pets, since the carry up to 14 diseases that are dangerous and communicable to humans, and reptiles only carry one.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Further Proof that dumb men get bit on the hand by venomous snakes

It was a small victory against statistical tyranny that he wasn't drunk, too.
B.O. "Buddy" Jones of Red River Parrish near Coushetta LA, died Tuesday December 21st. It was less than 12 hours since he had been bitten on the hand by his beloved canebrake rattlesnake. He had maintained a pair of these darling pets for over 9 years, and they were considered a novelty in the pawn shop where he maintained them. Apparently Buddy's family is from the wading end of the gene pool, as evidenced by the obvious mental handicap of any person who would attempt the feeding of a 9 year rattlesnake using his BARE HANDS.
I would like to officially nominate this genius for a Darwin Award, and thank him for removing himself from the Game of Life.
In all seriousness, this guy gives responsible herping a bad name.
I honestly think that guys who keep "hots" (that is, venomous reptiles) as a hobby are really stupid in the first place, and asking for trouble. (Notice that this post is sexist. That is because women are not testosterone-driven thrill seeking monkeys, on the whole, and I am unaware of any significant number of women who keep venomous animals for fun.)
The real trouble is this; These rednecks with cognitive deficiencies are giving ammunition to groups (see HSUS stance on reptile ownership) who want to ban reptile ownership, partially or completely using laws based on emotional reactions to the actions of idiots who deserved to die any way.
If you keep hots, and you think I am a terrible person for suggesting that you are less than intelligent, perhaps I should amend.
Intelligence is learning from your own mistakes.
Wisdom is learning from the mistakes of others.
It is unwise to keep venomous snakes for fun, particularly if you are not going to take the simple precautions of using protective equipment and procedures. I have no empathy for fools like Buddy Jones.
Here is an inspirational picture of a "minor" bite from a Great Basin Rattlesnake (Crotalus viridis lutosis)
Aren't rattesnakes cool pets?
Just great, I am so impressed.


Saturday, December 11, 2004

New York reptile owners are about to get screwed

If you live in New York, and you own a Boa Constrictor, you are about to become a criminal. A sweeping, and doubtlessly overreaching bill has passed in the Stat of New York which bans a number of admittedly dangerous animals from being kept as pets.
However, alongside Black Mambas, Polar bears, and Lions, are the entirety of FAMILY Boidae! Now you can't have a 14 inch Rubber Boa.
By the way, Bob Krantz education director of the Western New York Herpetological Society is not on your side. He said, "Not everybody should have a 15-foot boa constrictor." How many Boa constrictors have you seen that were 15 feet? Maybe one, if you were lucky. What about Children's Pythons? They don't get very big. BANNED! What about 4-5 foot Hog Island Boas? BANNED! Rosy Boas? BANNED! Spotted Pythons? BANNED Womas? BANNED! Blood Pythons, Ball Pythons? BANNED!


Not everybody should have sharp object, but we don't go banning them because a very small number of people are irresponsible.
Ban Motor vehicles, they're a grave threat to our populace!
I personally support regulation (not banning) of dangerously venomous animals, but banning FAMILY BOIDAE is absolutely draconian, ignorant, and possibly unconstitutional.
I am so pissed right now, I can hardly breathe, and I live in Idaho...

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Rattlesnakes bite young drunk men.

This is an excellent article on the ecological importance of predation, from bears , to wolves, to rattlesnakes.
And statistically, it's true, 80% of all people bitten by rattlesnakes are intoxicated, and the majority are young men, who have been bitten on the hand.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Free Corn Snake!

Click link in the title of this post to win a free heterozygous for Lavender (and who knows what else) Corn Snake!
Put the words "Free CornSnake" in the Subject field.
Don't forget to include your name and email address.
you must regsiter for the www.gemstatereptiles.com forums
to qualify.
There is an amel het for lavender, and an anery het for lavender available to choose from. Both are 2004 females.
Drawing will take place on December 25th.